Listening Your Way To Success

By Kerry Daigle

Kerry Daigle is a contributing writer for Bonnes Nouvelles publication. You can read more about the good people and news at Bonnes Nouvelles @ their website www.ilovegoodnews.com.

Kerry Daigle and George Foreman

The power of listening. The art of listening.

There will be times you will have to be a willing listener to what you may think is someone’s bad opinions. There will be times you will want to say, “That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard…..get out of here!!” When you learn to ‘listen’ and ‘respond’ vs ‘reacting’ then you will get something out of that person again. Otherwise you never will. You might as well have written them off.

Paw Paw Daigle always said, “Never pre-judge anyone”……’at anytime’……….You never know ‘who’ that person knows or ‘where’ they can lead you. You always want to ‘listen’ and ‘ask the right questions’ so you can learn more about them and their background. They may be the next person that will introduce you to the next level in your life and business career. Always “listen”….don’t just ‘hear’ what they have to say.

We should never pretend to know what we don’t know and we should never feel ashamed to ask and learn from people from ‘all walks of life’…….’blue collar to white collar’……without hesitation. That is why you should ‘hone’ your ‘listening’ skills.

Everyone you meet loves to be heard and speak about themselves and their backgrounds. You just have to ‘start’ that conversation with the right questions and these people will give you all the information you want.

Is it hard to develop listening skills? You bet it is! Recently in a major magazine article research showed that working parents listen to their children an average of 1 hour a week. Husbands and wives actually were spending less than one hour a week in conversations that had any meaning at all with each other. That really means we have our work cut out for us.

Have you ever heard the proverb, “ People don’t care how much you know…..they want to know how much you care”?

Very simply, that insinuates that people don’t want to listen to everything you know but instead would like to be listened to so they can be acknowledged and noticed. Listening shows we care. Telling someone we care about them isn’t as effective as ‘listening’ to their needs, goals, dreams, desires, and thoughts. That will ‘show’ them how much we care about them.

When people you speak to know you care about them and their goals in life, instead of what you want from them, you will always get what you need. It’s automatic. Zig Ziglar, the famous motivational speaker, says, “Give enough people ‘what’ they want and you will receive ‘much more’ in return.” Listening to someone’s goals in life could actually open many opportunities for you personally.

So again, are you listening to what people have to say……or are you waiting to ‘cut in’ and have your turn to talk? Try saying something nice to someone today………then ask them about themselves……be curious but not threatening. If you do this on regular basis……by shifting from talking to listening a whole new world opens up for you. Your personal relationships will grow and so will your business relationships.

Maw Maw Daigle always said, “God gave us two ears…….and one mouth”……….Problem is it seems the reverse most of the time.

I was with one of my salespeople recently (whom we will call Bob just for this story) and was interviewing a promising prospect (whom we will call Jim) for a sales position with our company. This individual, Jim, was a middle-aged gentleman with children and, Bob, my salesperson started talking about the benefits of running his own business in the convenience of his own home, working with us where he could be with his kids on a regular basis. After all, this is what propelled Bob to work with us and sell our product line. Now Jim, the gentleman being interviewed, was an incredible prospect for a sales career with us and was offering some resistance to what Bob was saying. Bob would react immediately and Jim would keep resisting. Finally, Jim shouted out to Bob………”I could never work with you…… My kids are all grown up, in their mid twenties, don’t work or go to school and don’t want to work or go to school and are constantly asking for money. I am looking for an opportunity to travel and meet more people and have more of an opportunity to grow personally. My wife has been deceased for 7 years now and I need to be around more and different people.”

By not asking the right questions to Jim, Bob made a crucial mistake of ‘talking’ too much and ‘selling’ vs ‘listening’ to Jim’s needs and meeting those needs. I see it happen everyday in people ‘selling’ products & services…………….Think about it for a moment. Who would you rather purchase something from……….someone who is constantly ‘selling’ and ‘talking’……..sounding like an continuous play audio tape……….or someone who has the decency to respect your rights and listens to your ‘needs’, ‘concerns’ and ‘desires’???

Again, people don’t care how much you know……they want to know how much you care.

Talking too much in sales (especially) or in your personal life has a tendency to “push” someone. That is where the term “pushy salesman” comes from and that is ‘why’ resistance takes place like in the story about Bob and Jim. Listening has a tendency to ‘pull’ someone towards you, like a magnet. You’ve heard the term, “that person is attracted to you like a magnet”…….That is the power of listening. Talking someone into something is like trying to ‘push’ a rope. Pull the rope ‘slowly’ and ‘more success will follow you’. That is a guarantee. It’s foolproof.

Asking questions……then listening can change your life forever for the best. Responding to situations vs reacting to them is crucial. That is where ‘listening’ comes in and becomes the ‘power’ behind having a better relationship with your kids, your spouse or the person you are in a relationship with, and your business partners and prospects.

Let’s look at some examples of questions to help you become a better more effective listener. Of course, after asking the question, you must listen attentively…….not looking around the room or your shoes. You must look in the person’s eyes if you are physically with them. If not you must ‘tune in’ without any ‘disruption’ or what I call ‘static’ in the background or your mind.

Let’s assume someone calls you and is unhappy with your product and responds to you in an angry tone. Answering back in an angry tone may win the argument but in the long run you will lose the fight and create animosity among people that will network your ‘terrible disposition’. These people will never tell others that they were confrontational first. So this person is angry and unhappy. You will want to acknowledge and respect their ‘present’ feelings and eventually would want them to feel differently toward your product or service. Your answer could be, “It sounds like you are really angry about this situation. Why do you feel this way?” Can I ask you where you received this information so I can assist you?

Asking calm questions and responding vs reacting then listening to their answers can move you to another level in life and business. Try it………….You know what??? You might like it. It could relieve a lot of stress from trying too hard by talking too much and listening too little.

Oh, by the way, thanks for listening……..this is Kerry Daigle …..KEEP PUNCHING!!